I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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