So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
