I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
