how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
