So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
