I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize