I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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