He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
