Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
