id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
