The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
