I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
