I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
