I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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