All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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