HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
