I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bring me that man meat
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
