Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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