Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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