There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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