why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
