Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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