did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
