K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dicks are not precious.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
