the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
