I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
