i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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