Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
