it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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