I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
