In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
