My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
