Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
