You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
