just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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