No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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