he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
