did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
