How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
