You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
