The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
