Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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