Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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