She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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