Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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