Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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