Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize