Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
