No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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