Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
