I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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