so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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