i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
