alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
