I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
