I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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