dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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