apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
