Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
