We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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