Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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