come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
