I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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