Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's Friday. Sex?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize