I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
