margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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