I think i peed on brittanys purse
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
