Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
